Parenting (December, 2024)

by Melanie Sisinni
12/16/2024

Most people can tell you the story of Martha and Mary, two sisters visited by Jesus. Mary chose to sit at Jesus’ feet and listen, while Martha continued to work. Martha eventually complained to Jesus that she was the only one working and asked him to tell her sister to help. Jesus replied that Mary had made the better choice, and he would not ask her to get up to help.

If Jesus comes for a visit, you can bet we will all be sitting at his feet. However, I’m a Martha, and I’m always planning, preparing, cleaning up, etc., because if not me, then who? I will defend Martha because I’m willing to bet her house was spotless, and that she was a great hostess.

That being said, I understand Mary made the better choice. She was present with her guests, who were probably only there for a few hours. Cleanup can wait until everyone is gone, but realistically, who wants to do that? We need to take turns being the Martha and the Mary.

They say it takes a village to raise a child, and I’m fortunate to have found my village. I have a good group of mom friends who all supported me after the birth of my fourth baby, Roman Paul, on Sept. 10. It was in my instincts to get up, move around and take care of everyone and everything despite having had major abdominal surgery just a few days prior, and despite being told by doctors and nurses in the hospital that I needed to sit down and relax.

When my husband returned to work, my friends came over during the day and were “Martha” for me. They brought food, watched shows with me, helped take care of my other kids, cleaned and forced me to relax and take on the role of Mary. My friends know how stubborn I am, and they told me many times, “Melanie, SIT. We will do whatever you need us to do.” I will forever be grateful to them for the love they showed me in those first weeks with my son.

My parish community and my kids’ Catholic school community showed us love, too. Several other seasoned moms scheduled a meal train for us, which was incredibly helpful. Once again, they took the role of Martha from me, which I usually hold onto with an anxious grip. I am so reluctant to say yes to helping hands, even when I know in my heart that I need to. These other moms who have “been there, done that” selflessly shared their time, talents and treasure with us in the form of meals they so lovingly brought to us.

Can you participate in ministries in your parish that would help ease someone else’s burden? How can you be Martha, even for a short time, so someone else can enjoy being Mary?

Mary made the better choice, but we need Martha, too. Martha is a caregiver and shows her love of God, family and friends through that care. Without my friends and neighbors taking on the role of Martha for me, I would not have been able to truly enjoy as much time with my newborn as I did.

Be the Martha and the Mary.

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